If I was safe

If I was safe

I would go out for walks in the middle of the

night just to enjoy the peace and the beauty 

of the night sky

If I was safe

I would go out wearing whatever I want,

wearing revealing clothes because I wouldn't

be worried about being assaulted and then

victim blamed for it

If I was safe

I would go on a first date for a walk

somewhere beautiful in nature where there

aren't other people around

If I was safe

I would leave the house alone without 

my phone

If I was safe

I would say thank you and accept the offer 

when a man I don't know offers to buy me 

a drink in a club

If I was safe

I would enjoy walking home at night instead of spending

the whole time just hoping I 

get home alive and safe

If I was safe

I wouldn't feel the fear rise in my chest when I walk past

a group of men in the street

If I was safe

Talking with men on dating apps would be fun 

because I wouldn't be analyzing fearfully

to see if they're safe and genuine

If I was safe

I would have so much more joy and freedom

and confidence and peace in the world

A Rush of Green

 I thought that I could never trade my blue for green

That the ripple of the sea could never be

surpassed by the rustle of the leaves

But what I didn't realise

Is that you can bathe in the forest 

Like you can bathe in the ocean,

That a rush of green can be as soothing 

As the rush of blue waves,

That you can be cleansed and protected by 

The branches embrace,

Warm and wise, nurturing and strong

Hovering over in earnest generosity,

Just as you can be comforted by the 

vastness of the brilliant blue ocean...

You can be immersed in the sea of grass,

In the endless stretching of fields and hills,

As wide and as wavering as the expansive 

blue ocean, rippling endlessly with infinite

beauty

I went to the sea and it wasn't the same

There's a country that hangs in my heart

A country that I mourn for, long for,

that I weep for,

A country that I still call home.

And the country I once called home,

although it never really felt like one,

feels more alien to me now than ever.

The sound of English accents around me

seem cold and unfamiliar,

like distant echoes 

ringing in my ears.

The affluence, the feeling of

rigidity,

the sense of conformity,

in one form or other,

The bohemians with their vans

living for the aesthetic and

the sense of personal freedom,

amidst this feeling of idyllic suffocation.

So contrasting to the wildness,

the mysterious magnificence of the hills and mountains

that awoke a rawness within,

The warmth of the people,

The sound of the Welsh language,

the beauty of their history and heritage,

The aliveness,

the togetherness,

the feeling that people cared

about the important things,

And cared nothing for the fashion, trends,

image and individualism.

True freedom,

and the rush of the roaring waves,

The unapologetic storms and gales,

the sound of fiddles, banjoes and harps

on the streets and in the pubs,

the ancientness,

The passion of a place that refused to be quiet

with its beauty,

A place so small yet so powerful,

It could latch onto your heart

and never let you go.

It could make you dream of it,

long for it,

long to be home.

Naked and Free

I wanted to hold you,
In the darkness,
In the light
In the shadows of your past
Not in the newness
But the comfort of knowing you

I wanted to be naked with you,
Inside and out,
With our guts sprawled across the table
Our fleshy wounds clear to be seen
Red and raw and open
Bleeding freely,
Surrendered,
Because there is no other way
In love.

Soft

I have to be soft with myself today, or I might
break
I will softly caress the curves of my heart,
And gently remember the truth of my soul,
So I don't break

I will whisper 'I love you' to myself
And 'I am here'
So that I can carefully fill the void that I often seek others to,
So I won't break

I will remind myself of my strength
And the way I have grown from the ashes
So many times before
New, and stronger
With scars but with a fierce heart

Humanity's Dark Side

Hidden between the skeleton
Branches of the trees
There are secrets that linger beneath
Our knees
A tunnel of mirrors
Leading to infinite worlds
Where dark thoughts unfold
And rotten things unfurl

There are those who are lost
In the black of the abyss
Wondering what happened to
Light, innocence, the purity of a kind
Untainted by the horrors
Of humanity's dark side

Two Worlds

There are two worlds
Which sometimes collide
In a moment

The ugly, dark, mysterious
Ridden with disease
And rotten corruption

And the beautiful,
The pure, angelic
The bright sunlight in the morning
Or the innocence of a child
The sweetness of a delicious fruit
Or a genuine joyous smile

Can they both be real at once?

When you lift the veil, is one the true reality?

Or is the truth the one you choose to see?